Tuesday, February 9, 2010

How Effed up are you scale

Like most things in life, my friends and I come up with a scale for anything and everything. Some of our most famous scales are 'The ass tapable scale' and 'the motorboat scale'. Those are just to name a few.

Well I have come up with the brand new way to tell just how effed up you are. Now this covers both drugs and alcohol. I'm changing the words to this a little because I don't like to use the n word. There are four levels on this scale.

I'm fucked up like a poor boy's...
Big wheel = you feel something, but you’re not sure. No will noticed anything, not even your closest friends
Tricycle = you feel it and it feels goooood. You’re closest friends will know what’s going on but the general public won’t
Unicycle = it’s past the point of good, it’s euphoric. You’re closest friends are for sure they know what you're up to and some of the general public will. Best not be in public.
Unicycle without the wheel = you’re gone, it doesn’t even feel good anymore. Everyone knows, there is no point in trying to hide. It’s your choice to leave the house cuz it don’t matter, you're not going to be able to fool anyone. You might want to wipe the drool off your face.

So the next you decide to snort that 8 ball, smoke those 5 bowls of the green leafy goodness, or drink that case of beer by yourself, stop, and think about what lever of effed up you want to be for the night.

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