The pain...OMG the pain

I have been sore from working out before, but this is out of control. I can't even get bend my arm enough to pick my nose. My arms hurt so bad that it makes my hands hurt. That's just my arms. My ass hurts so bad that it hurts to sit, my legs hurt so bad that it hurts to stand. I woddle around like I'm the size of a whale. My abs hurt so bad I don't want to move Last night we weren't able to really do the workout because we didn't have the equipment, so we did cardio and then the ab ripper X. I hate the ab ripper x. I hate the P90X. I need a full body rub down. I need to stop doing P90X and just love my fat ass. I would write more but all the typing is hurting my arms.

Dear God

Dear God, we need to chat. I have started this workout routine, yeah you know the one...yep the one that makes me say more cuss words in an hour than I do all day. I just have one question for you. WHY IN THE HELL DID YOU CREATE THE GUY THAT CREATED THIS WORKOUT!!! Epic Fail on your part dude...EPIC!

Today is bitter sweet, I have better movement in my left arm. That makes me happy since I'm left handed. It won't hurt to write and do my work. However, my right are now is unusable. That 45 degree angel bend I had working yesterday...ha, I can barely get to about a 35 degree bend today. Now you're probably wondering, what's the big deal. You're left handed, why do you need your right arm/hand...God thought he would be funny and make me one of those people that use both arms/hands to make it through the day. I actually do very little with my left hand, I do 90% of everything else on the right side. So now I'm SCREW ALL DAY.

Now the bitter side of the story. Tonight's workout is arms and chest...the same workout that has left me in my crippled state. I'm really scared about the pain tonight, but I'm determined to work through this. Ask me again tomorrow what I think. I have a feeling that it's not going to be pretty.

Last night was mostly legs and lower body. I did what I could and tried to hang in there but there were just some stuff that I couldn't do because of my knee. I don't care enough about getting trim to blow my knee out again! So I did what I could, and yet again I still hurt. Oh well this will pay off!

Fokes, that's it for our show day. See ya tomorrow. (ha I feel like Jerry Springer or Oprah)

PX90 SUCK IT!!!!

We have all seen the commercials, 90 days and you will look like this...blah blah blah. Brian and I started talking that we really need to do something to get our beach bodies before we hit the sandy beaches of Hawaii. So that fool orders the PX90. I start getting excited, cuz maybe my dream of being a male strip dancer, or be a part of 'Thunder from down under' will actually come true. I'm sitting here thinking, this can't be that bad. Yes, it's going to hurt and I'm going to have to push myself, but I'm used to the gym. I'm used to lifting weights and being active...kinda. WELL.... I was so wrong it wasn't even funny. First problem of the evening were our girl scoot cookies came in the same day as PX90. So while I'm reading what I'm about to put my body through, I decide I need to eat a whole tray of cookies. Way to start it off Matt! Just as sound nom nom nom fills the living room, I read, 'GET RID OF THE JUNK' For a minute I thought the book had been watching what I was going and waited for just the right time to spring that on me. Brian gets home and we put in disc 1. I about fell the hell out. Push ups and pull ups! WTF...that's what you're going to start us off at. I'm screwed. I have never had that much upper body strength. Push ups are always been my arch nemesis. Well dammit, I'm doing it tonight or so I thought.

Now for a second, lets compare brian and I. I have some big ass arms, I'm a big guy. Brian...well...yeah...so I start thinking that he is going to struggle with this. I don't think I have EVER been more wrong in my life. That boy is doing push ups like it's a normal thing, while I'm struggling doing girl push ups! Then I guess to make me feel less of a man, he starts doing girl push ups as well, just to give himself a break! I was very impressed with him, until he said "see told you I was crappy."

So first night was an hour of push ups, all different ways. mine all girl push ups...don't laugh, it's still hard to do. We did about 100 push ups, didn't do the pull ups because we don't have the equipment for that. Then to top it off, there is a 16 minute 'Ab Ripper X' REALLY...DO YOU SEE HOW FAT I AM!!!!!!!!!!! I wasn't able to really do many of the ripper stuff because of my muffin top kept getting in they. Last night I got about 4 hours of sleep because my arms hurt so bad. Today when I had to take my blood pressure meds, I just laid them on the counter and face planted on to the counter to take them. There's no using my arms today.

Tonight is an hour long lower body work out...not sure how many of them I will be able to do because of the knee. And yes if you have bad knees, PX90 is not for you. It clearly states that in the beginning. Pray for me please!!

A street car name Ghetto

I had to blog about this...it was the most awesome, creepy, WTF is that boy on moment. So I'm leaving subway headed back to work. I had planned on walking but it was to damn cold. So I'm pulling out into the main lane of the parking lot. You know the lane that runs between the shops and the parking lot..yeah that one. I have to come to a complete stop while this ghetto ass black boy, pants on the ground, NO EAR PHONES IN (that is key to this story), trying to bust a move in the middle of the damn road. I thought of honking, but that was soon followed up with the thought 'we don't want to honk because the kid might have just traded his Ipod in for a gun and will probably shoot us, while trying to finish his routine' Then I wondered why my thoughts were all in the plural tense, but that is for another blog. Then I got to watching the kids feet and he couldn't even bust a move right. I would have thought being that ghetto, you would be able to dance...yes I know that's stereotyping but c'mon on. If you're going to hold up traffic, don't dance like a seizing barney on crack you dip shit. Then the fool looks at me, smiles like I give a shit about his seizering ass dance steps, take one more step and I guess finishes he routine. He continues to bust a damn move. we wondered (again that voice should have been I) if that was part of his routine. dance 2,3,4, now take a step, and stop...ok doing it again and dance,2,3,4. GET THE HELL OUT OF THE ROAD! I know I will see the boy on so you think you can dance! I just hope he gets is Ipod back, after he robbed the general dollar store and works on those dance steps. A seizering barney on crack dance routine is not good enough to make it on that show. Those people have professional training. Just because you had some country bubba in a big ol truck watching does not count as training.

Ghetto gurl episode 4

I'm not sure what got her going this morning but Bgg has not shut the hell up. Her voice sounds like a retard whale trying to talk. I guess if you have a ball gag in your mouth most of the weekend you're going to be talking a lot when you get to work. However it's been an hour long retarded whale talk about what she learned in class. I think they thought her fat ass to jump through the flaming hoop of death! That or you whip front to back, not back to front. Simple task are always hardest for retard whales. Then you throw in lgg, and gurl I hears datr...I can't finish this story, have been distracted.

My Team lead just came over to talk to me about things and then right as he was handing me some work to do, he blew it out of his ass. It stunk so damn bad that I had to open a candle and turn my fan on. How are you going to come defile my working area with that smell and then hand me more work to do...FML!!!!

I just warned him that paybacks are hell...and trust me I have plenty of ammo in my ammo locker!!!!

Day...I don't even care anymore

I think Ash Wednesday was a week ago or something, it feels like it was like two Tuesdays ago. The soda thing was hard over the weekend. My vision started to blur, but I think that was just an old wise tail trying to come true. Ah I'm proof that you don't go blind...way off subject there. I fought back the primal urge to drink the sweet nectar of Dr. Pepper bottling company. Damn you Dr. Pepper, damn you. I got a monster yesterday to have with breakfast and I think it about caused me to have a heartache. I don't advise drinking those when you have given up on sodas.

Now I have a work complaint (surprised, I know). I have been working with this lady, who I will refer to as stupid bitch, for 2 months on an issue. I THOUGHT I had everything I needed, we all were understanding where the other one was coming from, until I get the fucking email...(sorry for dropping the f-bomb, it was needed). After 2 damn months of working on this, she emails me Friday after I leave to tell me she need more information...mind you, I have sent all the information I have, you have reviewed over the issue so many times, and now you're telling me you need more information. I have an idea, how about you shove all the info that I have sent you, up your ass and sit on it for a few days. Then when it's time to shit it out, see if something new comes out. SB...grrrrrrrr See you needed to tell me you needed more information about 2 damn months ago. However, when we're talking about getting approvals, which are the last fucking (again sorry for the f-bomb) step of the process, YOU DON'T NEED MORE INFORMATION!!!!!! I wish AT&T was still around, I would reach out and touch a bitch...grrrrrrrr

***disclaimer*** I would not actually reach out and touch stupid bitch. I'm sure in person she is a lovely human being. She probably contributes a lot to her family and community...nah I'm kidding, she's still a stupid bitch. Yes I cuss like a sailor but try to leave it out of my classy blogs, except where I feel that it's necessary to drop the big cuss words, as you have seen in this blog. If it offends you, get over it or I will blog about your ass!

Day 3

oh happy day to me. I was informed that monsters weren't soda...So I'm able to drink one a week...So my day is about to get very energized...that is all.