A Grandmother's fear.

This weekend I went back home to spend time with my grandmother and aunt. My aunt was staying a few days with Granny. As everyone that follows my blog knows, granny has cancer and it's only a matter of time. I have my suspictions that it's more than just the tumor the doctors are telling everyone. Granny went from having a tumor on her bile ducts, liver cancer and pancreatic cancer to just having a tumor on her bile ducts. Either way, it improved her mental state of mind as well as ours. Well this weekend it was clear that she is losing that fight. She has no strength and of course gets really tired really fast, but Granny is Granny and is still hanging on.
Something she said struck me and made me sad for her and my family. She has made statements like this before and it still left a ball of fear in my stomach. Granny made a comment about how families fall apart after the parents die. Now, I don't like Granny talking about being dead in the first place, but I realized that she is really worried about her family falling apart when she is gone. Granny, in many ways, is the glue in our family. She has been the one that made this family as close as it is. She has worked her entire life to making sure her family knew what love was and that it was the norm to get together every sunday for lunch. That it was the norm for the family to get together on weekends just to hang out. I can honestly say that when Granny takes her last breath, she will rejoyce in saying her late loved ones, and the wonderful family she has made.
There is now a new fear in her, that all her work is going to become undone when she is no longer with us. I wonder if it's just tender hearted Matt that feels the same way or if that's a fear that everyone in the family has. I honestly don't see it happening because we're so close now, but what's going to happen when Granny isn't here. What's going to happen when all the kids and grandkids get up on the weekends and Granny isn't cooking a breakfast that would feed the Texans football team. Is there someone in the family that has the strength to keep us together? How different is the family going to be when Granny isn't there...ok gotta stop...crying at work sucks...and I can't play this many tears off on Allergies...HA.