Ok so I thought I was going to have a lot of well power going into this because I'm really trying to be strong...i'm determined to make this work. Round one of just how determined I am began on my way home from Rehab...not AA rehab, but knee rehab. Anyways, I found myself trying to rationalize this thing out and tell myself that I can have one cig as soon as I get home but that was it. After all, why stop what you like doing. Plus that one smoke after work really is a good thing. I like crossing the line in a race, instead of a metal you get a smoke. Man I had it all worked out.
***side note, dexter keeps looking at me with these sad eyes and I can't tell if he feels my no smoking pain or if he feels sorry for me about my knee. Wow I must really be jacked up on vicoden. side note over***
So anyways, the do it for your son phrase isn't cutting it. I think if there would have been smokes at the house I would have lit up. I realize it's just a habit that i have to break but damn why does it have to be a good one. What's even worse is I know that it's killing me softly (thanks old 90's song) and I don't even care, that's what gets me about smokers. We know it's bad, we know it's killing us but we love it anyways. Ok so I think the craving is gone and there aren't any at the house anyways so I'm safe for now.
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