Things that piss me off

I came to the realization that I'm going to be a mean sonabitch when I get older. I'm talking mean like, people are going to want to kick me in my balls, old mean guy. As I get older, the more ok with my future I become! So if you come over to my house and see a "Stay out of Grass" sign posted, don't try and be funny and get in my grass. I will shoot your effin foot off bitch.

Here are some other things that clued me into the fact that I'm going to be an evil old asshole.
1. traffic. If two lanes widen to 4 lanes, way the f*ck am I going 35 on I-45. Look if this confuses you and you don't know what damn lane to be in, then find the next solid wall and ram your vehicle into it. The world is better off without you!

2. If you go out and buy a (used) vehicle that is already uncool, well guess what, just because you put rims on it, maybe dropped it, changed up the glass on the signle lights, and you g-ride in it -- you're not only a douche, but you're a douche driving a jacked up, stupid looking ride that makes you loose all your street cred and you should shoot yourself before you're homies see your piece of shit car and shoot you themselves.

3. Skinny people, let's get one thing straight...ALL US FAT PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A SHIT THAT YOU'RE A BUCK O' FIVE AND YET YOU EAT ALL THE TIME. Stop complaining about how you need to loose the weight and you were having the hardest time fitting into your size negative 12 jeans. One day you will get your wish and be huge and all us fat asses will be skinny...and I will tease the hell out of you!

4. Guys, if you're running to exercise, DO NOT RUN IN DAISY DUKES! That type of runnign shorts make...well they make me want to hit you as I run by. It doesn't even make looking at your package fun because I think of hurting you. It doesn't make you run better or faster, well ok it might because if a mob is chasing you, you're going to haul ass!

5. People with no common sense. If you can't figure this one out, then you're probably one of them...RUN!!!