Cow bowl 2010

The teams had be picked. Hotshot the longhorn was picked to win the showdown. Matt the human was the true underdog. No seriously I was. The tension had been building up ever since the teams were picked. The final showdown was bound to be an explosive one. The battleground had been pick. It was a muddy loading pen and a ditch full of water. I would soon become familiar with them. Then it happened. The showdown begun. Hotshot's eyes were full of bat shit craziness. her seeing the only way out from becoming hamburger meat was through me. I figured my build and height would intimidate her a little. She lowered her head ready for the charge, I stupidly grabbed her damn horns and the dance began. She charged with the force of one 2000 pound cow. I braced for impact, my one good leg hunkered down in the mud and wet ground. My bad leg just really didn't help me much at all. The cows head hit my chest, I stupidly hung on to damn horns. (see in my head I'm either about to pull a john wayne and end up on the cows back, or I'm going to bring this bitch to the ground) --(Neither happened) the beautiful dance was in full motion, until I realized I was now down on the ground, in the mud and water, still stupidly holding this effin horns! Then the realization of why I should have let go of the horns a LONG TIME AGO happened. The cow had managed to spin me around in the ditch and was now attempting to trample me. In the final push for more points with the judges, Hotshot did this move where she brought her legs and full body over mine. I"m not sure how impressive or graceful it looked to the outside world, but to me it was a priceless and beautiful tango of two hearts beating feverishly to survive. Me, because a fat ass cow was trying to dance on my body. Hotshot, because she knew if she was put in the trailer with her other three friends, she was going to be steak at the end of the day. When the dance was over and we had gotten her back into the pasture, Brian asked me if I was ok. I only asked if I almost had her down. Brian looked at me like I was an effed up in head and said No not even close. You were the only one down and then he walked away.

Now for the day after report. I'm sore as hell, have a nice knot on my elbow from either Hotshot's foot or her horn. One of her front legs managed to either graze my left knee...you know the good knee. There is some marks of violence there and it's swollen and hurts. My bad knee hurts, but I think that is because it's jealous. It's usually the only thing that hurts but now that other parts of the body hurt to, it's gotta hurt. We all know people like that. Both my hands hurt, not sure how that happened. Surprisingly my chest doesn't really hurt from the cow head butt I was the receiving end of, but my shoulders and upper back area are sore. WHY did I come to work?