The end of 2009

As the end of the year keeps coming at you, it's hard not to look back on a tough year. In the same instance though, you're hopeful for a better 2010. Then for some of us 2010 scares the hell out of us. There are lot of changes that will be taking place. A ton of my friends, and hopefully us as well, will be starting our families. Some will be doing that new years resolution, that usually ends after about two months of trying. And then there are some of us that really don't have a choice, we have to change.

This year I saw some scary preludes to where my health and future might be heading. To me, I gained a lot of weight. My blood pressure has finally become a big enough issue that I have had to address that with meds. During this "work on blood pressure" period, I learn that I have high triglycerides and high cholesterol. Well ok that's usually what happens when you gain weight, and 30 pounds is pretty much a lot of weight for me. So I'm on meds now for that as well. However, I figured that I could just lose the weight and get things under control better. How wrong I was.

I pretty much need to completely change everything about me to bet this. It's either that or have a heart attack/stroke early in life and die. Well maybe not die but you get the seriousness of this. Does anyone really know how hard it is to completely change everything about you, that you have done for the past 30 years? I have been reading websites about this and I can forgot drinking, smoking, sweets, good tasting food, and anything that has sugar in it. I need to work out at least 30 minutes a day for 5-7 days. I need to take in about 1000 calories a day - no make that 100 calories a day. I can burn that all off. Honestly, at this point in the game I would rather take death over having to change everything about me. I can't believe I have to stop drinking. I wonder if my heart can take one more night of it. I do plan on drinking tonight.

So even though 2010 already looks like it's going to SUCK and be a very difficult year, maybe it won't be that hard. It's going to teach me a lot about myself. It's going to be a hard change. I know it's for the best but damn, what sucky way to start the year. Oh bring it on!!!

And there were some great things about '09. Many reconnections with old friends and loved ones. So many great memories with friends. The trips, the concerts, the late nights, and all the booze... So '09 didn't completely suck!